RVD comes out of the corner with a frog splash off the ladder onto Finlay, but it was kind of weak, more like a **1/2 frog splash. Finlay stops him, so Matt brings him down with a Side Effect. Matt adds a yodelling legdrop off the ladder, which really just looks silly after the other highspots, and it’s his turn to climb. He slow climbs again, but RVD brings him down with a Van Daminator off the top, out of nowhere. Finlay decks him with the shelei…shalay…club, and then Lashley takes him out and clears the ring. Shelton and Matt bring him down, but succumb to the chops and Flair goes up again. He cleans house as Flair hobbles back out again and takes out Finlay, then climbs. Uh oh, Finlay’s got a weapon and he’s pissed. Matt takes over on Finlay and charges at a ladder in the corner, but gets it thrown in his face. Shelton follows him up and tries the old powerbomb off the ladder, but Lashley is too strong, so Matt and Finlay assist in completing the move. Back to the ring as Rob misses Rolling Thunder and lands on a ladder, allowing Lashley to slow-climb the ladder. They’re the only ones falling for his melodramatic selling these days, then. Hardy follows him up there and brings him down with a superplex from the ladder, prompting the referees to make the fake “X” sign and signal his exit from the match. That leaves Finlay alone, until Flair clobbers him and makes the first climb for the contract. Shelton gets another ladder and beats on Finlay with it, then lays it on the top rope and runs up it for a spectacular dive onto everyone else. Won’t the black-on-black violence ever stop? Matt goes for the ladder, but RVD splats him with a dive, which wasn’t a smart move for either guy. Press-slam for Flair, but Benjamin gives him the bad-ass high kick to take him out. Big brawl to start and Lashley pounds everyone down, then hits Finlay with a corner clothesline. Carlito & Masters, chokeslam - pin, 6:38, *1/2) Short and fairly inoffensive. Masters attempts to save by coming off the top, but hits Carlito by mistake, and the chokeslam finishes Carlito. The heels stall while Kane sits up, allowing him to make the comeback and try a chokeslam. Show breaks that up and gets Snake Eyes on Masters, while Carlito gets the backcracker on Kane and everything breaks down. Sideslam for Carlito and he goes up, but lands in a Masterlock. However, fate proves fickle, as the heels flapjack Show after a trip to an exposed turnbuckle, and then he quickly tags Kane back in again. Kane follows with a flying clothesline to the floor, obviously having eaten his Wheaties that morning. Crowd is actually behind Carlito, however, as Show press-slams both heels and clears the ring by tossing them both. Show beats on Masters and slams him, but Masters brings Carlito in, in an act of futility. Oh, great, now he’s doing the metaphors too. JR notes it’s like getting hit in the head with a bowling ball and Show’s hands are like skillets. Masters overpowers Kane to start, but gets dropkicked as a result. – Opening match, RAW World tag titles: Kane & Big Show v. Whereas VII was a bummer because the sport was in a slump and no one was showing it closed-circuit in Edmonton (and we didn’t have pay-per-view in Canada yet!), this one was just a show that didn’t appeal to me and didn’t seem to have any matches on it that were worth taking the day off work and paying the $20 to catch it at the movie theater. I think this show, however, encapsulates what my fandom has turned into, as it was the first Wrestlemania where I missed the show and didn’t really panic about it. – I’ve tried to start this one a couple of times, so we’ll see what happens this time around. They are re-published “as is” with relative commentary from when they were written. This Smark Wrestlemania Rant by Scott Keith is part of a series of reposts counting down to this year’s Wrestlemania.
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